Michael (from the off-Broadway musical, “Personals”)

Imagining what she will say into the phone: “Hello, Michael.” Tries different way: “Hello, Michael.” Tries another way: “Hello, Michael.” Then tries out what she’ll say: “Hello, Michael. It’s me. I just called to say hi. And to see how you’re doing. I miss you. Goodbye.” She hates this. She sings.

Hello, Michael. Did I wake you?
Guess who saw you? Eileen Mitner.
You looked happy. So she told me.
If you’re busy, I can call back.
Well, I have this stupid fa-vor.
You can really just say no now.
If you want to, you can really.
If you want to, just say no.

You looked happy, so she told me.
But I wondered do you miss me?
Do you really? Really really?
Michael, miss me. Don’t you know?
Am I still your Sally Aardvark?
Are you still my Many Men?
And I have this stupid favor.
Would you marry me again?
Michael, marry me a-gain!

So what’s new there? Guess what I did?
Started dancing. Such a clutzy ballerina,
But I like it. Keeps me busy.
I look great. Guess what I’m learning?
How to cook, yeah. Oh, and babe I bought a bunny.
And I named it after you. And I call it Many Men.
Well, I’m lonely. Guess you knew that.
And I love you. Really really.
Do you call her Sally Aardvark?
Does she call you Many Men?
Michael, marry me. Michael, marry me a-gain.

Michael, tell me why I left you.
Tell me what I thought I would find.
Where was I going?
Michael, I was out of my mind!

Well, I blew it. Guess we know that.
And I see now. It was stupid.
And I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.
But I love you. Can’t you see that?
Can I come home now? Will you take me?
Michael, please please please just say yes.
Am I still your Sally Aardvark?
‘Cuz boy you’re still my Many Men.
Michael, marry me.
Michael, marry me.
Michael, marry me. Marry me.
Marry me AGAIN.
Michael.

Makes the call, waits, then speaks into phone: “Hello, Michael. It’s me. I just called to say hi. And to see how you’re doing. I miss you. Goodbye.”

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