Our 10th Year Anniversary Event is Now Just 2 Weeks Away!

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Well, folks, our 10th Year Anniversary Event is only two weeks away. We’re so excited to be hosting this event.

Will there be music, you ask? Oh yeah. The Levins will be there. Kenny Green will be there. Michael Skloff will be there. And a quintet of cantors too!

Will there be storytelling, you ask? Yes yes yes. Rabbi Les Bronstein and Rabbi Jeffrey Sirkman. Two of the very best.

Will there be anything to eat? Only if you want something delicious and heartwarming.

So please join us — online or on-site in White Plains, NY.

The event is FREE but reservations are necessary.

There will be NO donation requests during the event. We really want this night to be a big thank you to YOU for making everything we do possible.

It all happens at Play Group Theatre (1 North Broadway, White Plains, NY). We’ll gather at 7:00 pm for hors d’oeuvres, followed by an hour of entertainment and tributes, and conclude with a dessert reception. It’s a school night (that’s “work night” for all you adult types) so the formal part will end by 9 pm. Feel free to hang with us a while, if you like.

Please visit jonahmac.org/ten, and let us know you’ll be with us online or on-site for our June 26 event.

If you have any questions, give us a holler. We sincerely hope to see you there!


And don’t forget, our “We’re 10 Years Old!” campaign runs throughout the month of June.

Please stop by jonahmac.org/donate and, as they say, give til it feels good.

And please know how much we appreciate each and every gift.

Thank you.

BillyOur 10th Year Anniversary Event is Now Just 2 Weeks Away!
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Grand Opening of Jonah’s Trading Post!

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We are so excited to announce the GRAND OPENING of Jonah’s Trading Post!

Our shelves are fully stocked with mp3 recordings, guitar lead sheets, piano-vocal scores, choral arrangements, and even some full band arrangements!

There’s music by Billy Dreskin, Beged Kefet, So Is Life, and Craig Taubman.

And THERE ARE NO PRICES ON ANYTHING! Any music you decide to bring home is yours for the taking. Our hope is that you’ll make a donation to the Foundation on your way out the door.

To whet your appetite, here’s a piece called OR ZARUA that Billy wrote. He only recently finished recording it with Ellen and with The Levins. Ira and Julia Levin are two of this country’s precious folk-singing gems and we were honored to make music with them. “Or Zarua” is a text from Psalms that basically proclaims it a wonderful idea to do good things for others. Give it a watch and a listen …

Okay, so let’s assume you really like OR ZARUA. Now you can go to Jonah’s Trading Post and see what we have for you there. First, you’ll see icons for all of Billy’s music. Scroll down and click on OR ZARUA. Then just beneath the title, click on the dropdown for Download Format and you’ll see all of your choices: for this item, MP3 Audio and Vocal-Cello-Guitar Score (pdf). Choose one, tell us how much you’d like to donate, then Add to Cart. Keep shopping or move on to checkout. That’s it!

Every piece of music in Jonah’s Trading Post has a player that lets you listen. You can do that all you like, everyday if you like, without ordering any music. We’re just happy to have you come listen.

And that’s Jonah’s Trading Post, where your donations to the Foundation become our gifts to you. How fun is that!

If you have any questions, give us a holler.


And don’t forget, our “We’re 10 Years Old!” campaign runs throughout the month of June.

Please stop by jonahmac.org/donate and, as they say, give til it feels good.

And please know how much we appreciate each and every gift.

Thank you.

BillyGrand Opening of Jonah’s Trading Post!
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Our June Campaign is up and running: WE’RE 10 YEARS OLD!

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Our June campaign is out the starting gate. And we hope you’ll want to participate.

For a decade now, your faith in our family’s desire not just to remember Jonah but to honor his memory by bringing as much good into the world as we can, well you’ve made that happen.

And you can make that happen again.

Here’s what longtime donor Sally Winter recently wrote us:

I never was lucky enough to know Jonah. You might ask then why have I continued to support this foundation? I didn’t know Jonah but I have had the opportunity to learn with Jonah’s mom at URJ kallot. I have had the chance to watch Jonah’s dad lead services and listen to him teach. I think one of the most difficult experiences in life must be losing a child. Billy and Ellen have turned their tragedy into a beautiful remembrance. The Jonah Maccabee Foundation continues to honor Jonah and do so much good in areas that were important in his life. To me, action is important. As Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel said: “For many of us the march from Selma to Montgomery was about protest and prayer. [For me,] our march was worship. I felt my legs were praying.'” I feel that by continuing to support this foundation, I am praying with my feet. It is an honor and a privilege to be able to do so.

It is we who are honored and privileged to have each of you marching with us. Your donation to our “We’re 10 Years Old!” campaign will be used in the coming year to help in so many different ways. [If you’d like to know how we spent this past year’s donations, please visit https://mailchi.mp/jonahmac/10-years-old.]

Thank you for caring and for supporting our “We’re 10 Years Old!” campaign.

And don’t forget …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10th Anniversary Event                                                  Jonah’s Trading Post
https://jonahmac.org/ten                                             https://jonahmac.org/trading-post

BillyOur June Campaign is up and running: WE’RE 10 YEARS OLD!
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Our 10th Year Anniversary Event is Only 3 Weeks Away!

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This is the month! Our 10th Year Anniversary Event is only a few weeks away. And we’re really hoping you’ll join us — online or on-site in White Plains, NY.

The event is FREE but reservations are necessary (so we’ve got enough chairs and food and that sort of stuff).

And in case you’re wondering, we’re not going to ask you to donate any money while you’re there. We really want this night to be a big thank you to YOU for making everything we do possible.

So please join us on June 26.

The celebration will take place at Play Group Theatre (1 North Broadway, White Plains, NY) which is where Jonah pretty much grew up, discovering show biz, his love for being a ham, and where he learned how to care for his fellow actors both onstage and off. We were delighted and humbled when Jill and Steven Abusch, proprietors of said theatre, opened their doors to us.

We’ll gather at 7:00 pm for hugs and hors d’oeuvres, enjoy an hour of entertainment and tributes on PGT’s mainstage, followed by a dessert reception. Part of the evening will take place in our very favorite space at PGT, the Jonah Mac Theatre (yep, named for that Jonah Mac).

So won’t you come be with us? After all, you’re the ones who made all this happen. And you deserve some great music, stories, and delicious hors d’oeuvres!

Okay, there is one $$$ ask. With the war in Ukraine dragging on, we want to do what we can to help them out. When you register, you’ll be invited to kick in a few bucks to help with Ukrainian relief. Those folks have been putting everything on the line, and we want to let them know we’ve got their backs. Thank you in advance for that.

‘Nuf said. Time for you to visit jonahmac.org/ten, and let us know you’ll be with us online or on-site for our June 26 event.

If you have any questions, give us a holler. We sincerely hope to see you there!

BillyOur 10th Year Anniversary Event is Only 3 Weeks Away!
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Thanks to all who have contributed to our “We’re 10 Years Old!” Campaign

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We are so grateful that you take the time and dollars to support our work. It’s incredibly gratifying and this list of donors to our “We’re 10 Years Old!” Campaign is a small but earnest expression of our thanks. May our shared efforts bring ever-increasing goodness into a world that so desperately needs it.

The Dreskins and Boonshofts

 


Martha Dubinsky Witkowski

Roberta Roos

Hebrew Union College American Jewish Archives

Robbie Harris … in honor of the wonderful work you do

Karen Steele

Cantor Danielle Rodnizki … in honor of JMF’s 10 years!

Steve and Donna Sorrow

Vivian and David Singer

Rabbi Zachary A. Plesent and Cantor Jenna L. Mark

Rabbi Aaron M. and Janese Petuchowski

Jan and Lanie Katzew

Dr. Helen Meltzer-Krim … in honor of Ronna Weber

Bernard H Mehlman … in honor of Rabbi Gustav Buchdahl, the birthday of a great friend

Roberta Grossman

Rebecca Schwartz

Merri Rosenberg

Naomi and Richard Binenfeld … in honor of Daniel Loventhal’s 46th birthday

Norah Markey … in honor of Ellen and Billy Dreskin

Jeanne Weiland

Louis Shach, uncle of David Brokaw

Rene Katersky … in honor of the Dreskin family because I have so much respect and admiration for all you do, not only in this good work in Jonah’s memory, but for your continuous warmth of welcome and teaching

Kathy Tuchman Glass

Jesse Turner … in memory of David Brokaw, gone too soon

Marc Rosenstein

Beth Sher … in memory of Bobbie Kraus, who helped hundreds of children find their voice

Michael and Carol

Stephen Wise

Marta Kauffman … in honor of Ellen and Billy Dreskin

Rabbi Amy and Gary Perlin

Rabbi Jeffrey Sirkman … in honor of ten years of bringing light

Rabbi Norman and Terry Cohen … in honor of Ellen and Billy Dreskin

Rabbi Maya Glasser … in honor of Rabbi Billy’s trip to Florida

Stan Schickler … in honor of everyone’s retirements!

Ira Lichtiger

Craig Taubman

Michael Skloff

Rochelle Novins … in memory of Jay and Kevin Novins

Lois and Bernie Bacharach

Cantor Tracey Scher … in honor of Larchmont Temple and in memory of Jonah Dreskin

Beth, Todd, and Josh Benjamin … in memory of Martin Klapman

Jennifer Jaech

The Carrolls

Michael Swit … in memory of Bruce H. Greene

Dan and Joy Firshein

Judy Fuhrer … in memory of Jonah

Rabbi David Gelfand

Noah Budin

Carolyn and Eldon Wexler

Glynis Conyer

David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik

Rabbi Lisa and Josh Nelson

Joan, Tim and Abbey Funk … in memory of David Funk’s yahrzeit

Geri Pell

Rabbi Joan and Andy Farber

Cantor Jan Mahler

Marc J Margolius

Regina Silitch … in memory of Aidan Silitch

Todd Kipnis

Cantor Lisa Levine

Rosalie Will and David Billotti

Julie and Scott Stein

Batyah Ben-David

Congregation Emanu-El in the City of New York

Madelyn Katz

Charles and Nancy Fishman

Rabbi Michael Pincus

Daria and David Moore … in memory of Jonah Mac. In our hearts forever. Thank you for your incredible dedication and love.

Pietra, Alan and Ben Cohen … in honor of Sylvia and Arthur

Matt Grob

Martine and Bruce Klein

Justine Berkowicz

Murray and Jeanne Bodin

Robin and David Suarez

Harvey Feldman … in memory of Nathan and Marian Feldman

Faith Joy Dantowitz … in memory of Jonah Maccabee Dreskin

Ruth Rugoff, Joe and Annie Potischman … in memory of Jonah Dreskin

Bruce Ginsberg and Rebecca Dulit … in memory of Albert and Edith Ginsberg and Everett Dulit

Mark S. Anshan and Brenda Spiegler … in honor of Ellen and Billy

Dr Daniel Lucas

Judy Mann

Myron Katz … in memory of Rina

Rabbi Peter Rubinstein … in honor of Billy and Ellen Dreskin

Molly Rodriguez … in honor of the Foundation’s 10th anniversary

Shari and Jonathan Turell

Jeanne and Murray Bodin

Rabbi Rebecca Dubowe

Cam and Julia Shriver

Allison Pincus and Matt Scult

Tom and Susan Schaeffer

Corey Friedlander

 

BillyThanks to all who have contributed to our “We’re 10 Years Old!” Campaign
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Our June Campaign is here: WE’RE 10 YEARS OLD!

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We’ve got THREE EXCITING PIECES OF NEWS to tell you about.

#1: “We’re 10 Years Old!”

It’s rather unbelievable. It’s been 13 years since Jonah died, and 10 years since we started The Jonah Maccabee Foundation. During that time, more than 800 of you have made more than 2500 donations in 25 campaigns. Because of that, you have empowered us (that’s “you and us together”) to provide more than 150 grants to organizations that are working to make our world better for all.We simply must say thank you. It’s because of your heart, your caring, and your generosity, that we have been able to do any of this. That includes, by the way, our continued healing from Jonah’s death; we’re not done with that, but your kindness is what’s put us well on the path.

We’re hoping you will help us mark this significant moment by donating to our “We’re 10 Years Old!” campaign. Anytime in the month of June, please help us rededicate ourselves to another ten years of doing good for others.

#2: Our 10th ANNIVERSARY EVENT!

If you’re able, we sure would love to have you with us. It’ll take place at 7:00 pm on Sunday, June 26 at Play Group Theatre in White Plains, NY.

There’ll be music, stories, tasty treats, and a whole bunch of really nice people (like you).

There’s no cost to attend and we promise not to ask you to donate any money while you’re there.

But you do have to register, which you can do at jonahmac.org/ten.

We’ll also be streaming the event online. Register for that as well at jonahmac.org/ten, so we can send you a link.

#3: Jonah’s Trading Post is OPEN FOR BUSINESS!

What’s Jonah’s Trading Post? Well, you should really stop by and take a look. Basically, it’s a place for us to raise money in a different way.

Most of the inventory at Jonah’s Trading Post right now is music. Audio recordings, sheet music, choral arrangements and even band arrangements. It’s primarily music written by Billy.

Childrens’ music, adult listening, and synagogue choral music. Some musical theatre too!

Craig Taubman is there as well. So Is Life is there too (Dan Nichols, Rosalie Will, Josh Nelson and Ellen Dreskin). And Beged Kefet also! All of these good folks have donated their music, for which we’re very grateful.

At Jonah’s Trading Post, there are no prices on anything. You get to decide how much you want to donate. Yep, you can have everything for free, but we’re hoping you’ll drop a bunch of shekels in our bucket so we can do even more good stuff through the Foundation.

Stop by Jonah’s Trading Post and see (hear!) for yourself.

#4 (Bonus Section): It’s YOU who makes the difference!

Before we let you go, here’s a list of the grants that YOU’VE made possible so far in 2022:

  • IsraAid … supports Ukrainian refugees in Moldova and supplies humanitarian aid to southern Ukraine
  • Thompson Island Outward Bound Education Center … provides free outdoor educational programming to low-resourced communities in the Boston Public Schools
  • The Penguin Project … provides theatrical outlets across the country for young artists with developmental disabilities, joined onstage by children without disabilities who work side-by-side through rehearsals and performances
  • United Negro College Fund …awards more than 10,000 students scholarships annually, and provides financial support to 37 historically black colleges and universities
  • “Songleading: A Work of Art” … the Foundation has underwritten this important book that promotes the training of a new generation of capable, effective leaders of communal singing.
  • The PICO Union Project … distributes free, fresh produce, mentors high school students, plants gardens and trees, and provides art programs to lift the minds and spirits of the immigrant communities living in the El Pueblo district in Los Angeles
  • The Florence Immigrant & Refugee Rights Project … provides free legal services to men, women, and unaccompanied children in Arizona who face immigration removal proceedings, endeavoring to ensure each immigrant has access to counsel, understands their rights under the law, and is treated fairly and humanely
  • Harmony Project … provides no-cost, high-quality music instruction and social support to underserved children in low-income communities, motivating them to cultivate their human potential
  • The Reform Movement’s Racial Justice Campaign … combats voter suppression, addressing systemic racism by demanding policy change on both a state and federal level
  • Young Center for Immigrant Children’s Rights … advocates for the rights and best interests of immigrant children, from custody and release to the ultimate decision about whether the child will be allowed to remain in the U.S.
  • Play Group Theatre … “preparing kids for every stage in life,” PGT understands that the show isn’t what’s most important when kids do theatre. Learning collaboration, sharpening listening skills, embracing creativity, and treating one another with honor … these are what PGT is all about. We love that!
  • National Diaper Network … provides basic necessities required to build the strong foundations all children, families, and individuals need to thrive and reach their full potential
  • 6 Points Creative Arts Academy … a summer camp that strives to create holistic, meaningful experiences for young artists in a living laboratory for learning and performing
  • Tali Fund … in memory of Talia Faith Agler, supports Tali’s ongoing work and dreams, helping fund the Talia Agler Girls Shelter in Nairobi, Kenya
  • 52nd Street Project … creates and produces new plays for, and often by, kids ages 9-18 who reside in the Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood of New York City

We’d be honored to have you join us in “We’re 10 Years Old!”

Together, let’s remember Jonah by helping make the world a little better for everyone.

BillyOur June Campaign is here: WE’RE 10 YEARS OLD!
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Thank you for donating to our Ukrainian Relief Fund

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Please note: This list only reflects donations to our Ukrainian Relief Fund as part of our 10th Anniversary Event. All others are acknowledged elsewhere. Thanks for understanding.

Wendy Deuring

Carol Scharff

Beth Sperber Richie

Ellen and Billy Dreskin

Ilene Berger

Corey Friedlander

Michael Mellen

Nicole Roos

Mark Kaufman

Phyllis Opochinsky

Rabbi Eddie Schecter

Carol Scharf

Sally Winter

Sarah Stein

Matt Grob

Carol Scharff

Richard Stoerger

Jeanne and Murray Bodin

Don Jones

Ilene Berger

Beth Sperber Richie

Tracy Friend

Judy Adams

Madeline Hendricks

Eve Rudin Kleinman

Rene Katersky

Malcolm and Ali Weisman McDowell

Liza Pincus

Margot Serwer

Beth Sher

Lisa Stone

Mark and Mara Young

Jeff Kagan

Geri Pell

Roberta Roos

 

BillyThank you for donating to our Ukrainian Relief Fund
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On Your 13th Yahrzeit … War

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Dear Jonah,

I had another letter all done and ready to send to you, but the war in Ukraine has been weighing heavily on my mind and I want you to hear from me about it.

You always had such clear ideas about right and wrong, and you were a zealot for fairness. You could never tolerate injustice.

You would hate this war.

1st grade: cute but dangerous

When you were in the first grade, you got into big trouble at school. Another child had done something which, right or wrong, you felt deserved a clear response. So you bit him.

While your biting phase came to an end, your sense of justice did not. If it was happening to you, woe to your adversary. But as the years moved forward, your sense of fairness extended far beyond yourself. You looked out for others all the time. And we loved that about you.

When you were graduating from high school, NFTY NAR (your regional youth group community) voted you “most likely to lead the Jewish people in a revolt against the Romans.” Okay, so your middle name was Maccabee and that’s almost exactly what your namesake did (it was the Greeks, but the Romans got theirs later on). Your friends’ sentiment very likely transcended that historical reference. Everyone knew you enjoyed raising a ruckus, especially for a good cause.

Mom and I named you Jonah Maccabee with real intention. Yonah (Hebrew for Jonah) means “dove.” Combining that with the name of Jewish history’s greatest warrior, Judah Maccabee, we couldn’t have made it much clearer that it had been our fervent wish for you to grow up and become a “warrior for peace.”

Yep, this was the award

And lookee there. It’s pretty much exactly what you did!

On the other side of the world – actually, in the land of your great-grandparents! – there is an unjust war being fought right now. Russia has decided to destroy Ukraine. Putin and his gang thought they could act with impunity, that there would be little resistance from the Ukrainians and a divided world looking the other way. But neither of those things has happened.

Like a modern-day Judah Maccabee, these Ukrainian underdogs have fought back with such determination and fierceness that the Russian authorities are in a tizzy about what to do next. In addition (and quite surprisingly), the world has rallied around Ukraine in so many powerful and loving ways, with governments and everyday citizens across the globe all responding and trying to help.

You would be so proud, Jonah.

Because no one should have to endure the relentless bullying of thugs. I’m pretty sure you’d be rolling up your sleeves to help in whatever ways possible.

When you were younger, JoJo, you were quite famous in our home for your inconveniently combustible temper, and we all knew to give you plenty of safe space whenever we saw smoke coming out of your ears.

As you grew up, we loved seeing that anger subside, even as your sense of justice grew stronger. By age nineteen, you had become such a caring and giving young man, it was sometimes hard to believe all that goodness could emerge from a kid who, only a few years earlier, wasn’t able to see beyond his own needs.

But you did.

And that’s why so many of us loved you and continue loving you.

I pray each day for Ukraine. Mom and I help out where we can. We simply have to. And I’m pretty sure you would too.

Thirteen years ago I lost you, Jonah. Life veered far off its course that night, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done to grieve your death. But as much as I love you (and always will), it’s been crucial that I remember I wasn’t the one who died.

And so I live. I live as fully and joyfully as I can. In addition, I carry you with me. And in carrying you, I try to honor your life and your memory each day. I do so by trying to act when another is in need, hoping to preserve the impact you might be having on our world were you still with us today. I do so for you. I do so for those who need you.

Thank you for being part of my life, Jonah. Thank you for sharing your heart and your goodness with me and with so many others. And thank you for learning not to bite. With your teeth, that is.

However, if it were Putin …

Love you and miss you forever,
Dad

BillyOn Your 13th Yahrzeit … War
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“I am not Ukrainian, but I support you”

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We share in your outrage at Russia’s unwarranted invasion of Ukraine. Our hearts are breaking for the men, women and children living peacefully in the democratic nation who must now defend their land and their loved ones against the national thuggery advanced by Putin and those who enable him. The Ukrainians have earned our love and support many times over.

The Jonah Maccabee Foundation has awarded a significant grant to assist in helping refugees as they flee their homes in search of safety. IsraAID has a well-known track record for showing up where crisis occurs, bringing with them doctors and supplies and love from the Land of Israel. As a Jewish family, we are so proud of Israel each time they appear throughout the world bringing help and hope with them. We want the people of Ukraine to hear and to feel the Jewish people supporting them. Sending doctors and supplies from Israel seems like a great way to do that.

Thank you for your generous donations that make this grant possible. If it would be meaningful to you, click here to make your own donation to IsraAID.

We pray for survival, freedom and peace to the people of Ukraine. God bless them all.

Ellen, Billy, Aiden, Katie and Mark

Billy“I am not Ukrainian, but I support you”
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I’ll Be Right Here

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Dear Jonah,

Don’t take this personally, but I don’t cry that much for you anymore. I mean, it’s been nearly thirteen years! It’s certainly not that I don’t miss you. I do. But life goes on. It has to go on. So my grief, which very much continues to this day, resides in a much quieter place than it once did.

But today I cried.

It was a story that did it. I was watching Stargate SG-1, the 1997 sci-fi series in which a U.S. Air Force special ops team visits and explores planets in other galaxies. I know it sounds silly, but bear with me.

The SG-1  team has a run-in with little blue crystals that turn out to be sentient. When Colonel Jack O’Neill reaches out to touch one, the crystal apparently feels threatened and slams the guy with a power blast. Later realizing that Jack probably hadn’t intended any harm, the crystal assumes Jack’s human form and returns to earth with the crew. The crystal wants to heal Jack of the pain it sensed in him, but back on earth discovers it was the death of Jack’s seven-year-old son that constitutes the real pain Jack carries.

Blue Crystal Jack later meets up with Real Jack, explaining that death is different where the crystal comes from, and that Jack just needs to spend time with his son to ease his pain. Jack tells him that’s impossible, that his son is gone forever.

JoJo, let me interrupt a moment to say that, as I recount this story to your mom, I am again consumed with crying, gasping for breath as tears cascade down my face.

Blue Crystal Jack tells Real Jack that Charlie isn’t gone, that he lives on inside Jack’s heart. Blue Crystal Jack then reaches out, ET style, and touches O’Neill’s chest, to emphasize where his son Charlie can be found. As the crystal does so, its hand transforms from Jack’s hand into Charlie’s hand, and the rest of Charlie soon follows.

The final interaction between the blue crystal and Jack is that of Jack holding his son’s years-gone seven-year-old hand and the two of them walking together before Jack gets his goodbye. The blue crystal then returns to its galaxy and Charlie returns to Jack’s heart.

I catch my breath.

From the very first days that you were gone, Jonah, I had to learn to live with what so many have described as “the waves of grief.” Never knowing when one will roll over me, I had to do my best to ride them out. Thirteen years ago, there was nothing harder for me than to meet those waves. I’ll never forget the deep, gasping, heaving crying that went on back then. But in time not only did I come to accept those waves, I understood them as a sign of my profound, ongoing love for you, a love I hoped would never disappear. And whenever a new wave would arrive, that was confirmed.

Which is why, as I’m watching something as trivial as a dumb TV show, I open wide to welcome the always-surprising return of the wave. It’s the closest I think I can get to seeing you again.

You and I never got our goodbye, Jonah. You died in Buffalo while we were home in Ardsley. The last time I was with you was on January 9, 2009, as you left to return for your second semester of freshman year at the University at Buffalo. The next time I would be with you was on March 5, 2009, about ten hours after you had died. You were lying in a hospital bed in a very cold room, with a lot of tubes still connected to you.

This is how I spent my last moments with you. Nothing at all like a hand-in-hand walk across the tarmac. Or, as I remember from dropping you off at UB the previous August, one of those great, big, powerful bearhugs that squeeze the breath out of you but always sent me home with the lingering sensation that I still had you with me.

So the idea of getting to see you one more time, all these years later, well, you can imagine how appealing that might be.

After you died, Jo, lots of people reported seeing you in their dreams. “Come visit me again” was a common refrain on Facebook as your friends adjusted to your being gone. I too had a few of those dreams. Some mighty strange ones that I hoped against hope contained some truth in them, that I had in fact seen you, and that I might get to see you again. But while those were very powerful moments, I slept through each and every one of them!

Poor image from a surveillance video, but even in front of the Ark, in front of the congregation, at Jonah’s Confirmation in 2000, everything stops for a hug from this boy.

So you can imagine the emotional tug of that episode of Stargate SG-1. My heart instantaneously switched over to grief mode. And it hurt, that’s how badly I wished this television “dream” also contained some truth and could happen for you and me.

It can’t, of course. Outside of my dreams, seeing you can’t ever happen again. But oh, to be able to spend ten more minutes with you!

Sitting with my memories of you, Jonah, is something that can, and does, happen each day. If it weren’t for those memories, you’d be truly gone. It’s the memories – precious memories, sacred memories – that keep you close to me, that keep your hand in mine.

In life, we all have to let go of lots of the people we love. I think of Grandma Ida and how often I wish I could pick up the phone and call her. Even though I can’t, my memories of her are so strong, and so clear, that I can almost have our conversation without her. And because of that, I still miss her but I’m not really without her.

And I’m not really without you, my son. You live inside my heart. You bring me joy. You teach me wisdom. And yes, you break my heart.

But I live. And I live well. Happy. Still missing my boy. Never moving on. But grateful to be able to carry on.

Happy birthday, kid.

Love you forever,
Dad

BillyI’ll Be Right Here
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